Memoir Poem: Because of Love

 

I was angry with you,

Even though you’re dying,

Angry because you’ve stopped

trying to live.

I was angry before I knew

You are dying

So am I

slowly, mysteriously

who knows when

I can’t hug my child again.

He’s what keeps me in this sad world.

He’s what makes me want to live.

How can I still be angry?

They did their best

given what they knew

surviving what they’d been through

I know they loved me

They doted, spoiled, pressured,

They slapped, clapped, neglected,

They cried, lied, tried to keep me

safe under their control.

However misguided

there’s nothing left to prove anymore.

I believe in the love

they gave and wanted to give.

Goodbye Mama.

I’m wearing the jacket you gave me

it shines golden buttons in the rain

You know my heart

is irrevocably yours,

whatever star you live on next

May you be blessed

with the happiness

you deserved in this one.