Memoir Poem: Motherless Again (haiku in 17 variations)

1)

When I was a child

I lost you, you ran away

with our abuser.

2)

Victim Narcissist

intellect and leadership

competitive trial.

3)

He made you jealous

insecure and unbalanced

with his power trip.

4)

I failed to be you

but that’s not exactly true

Time is a genius.

5)

How should I survive

this final separation

losing you again.

6)

Terminal cancer

tortures you alive with pain

but you refuse meds

7)

because your mother

was an abusive drunkard

it motivates you

8)

But you shut me out

again I’m on the outside

you won’t let me see

9)

your prison or death

you think that’s protection or

maybe you hate me.

10)

Tiger mother strong

poverty and violence

couldn’t destroy you,

11)

Bodies are finite

temporary organic

you’ll transcend this too.

12)

yes I’ve been angry

spilling truth from memory

telling our story.

13

You were a writer

we share that path together

sorrow fueled our words.

14)

You’ll always survive

dream like sudden joyful smile

your myth was my world.

15)

Chestnuts glowing gold

Christmas tree twinkling with clowns.

presents wrapped singing.

16)

Your hand knitted pants

with elastic cinched waistband

walk of shame prize.

17)

Long distance dreaming

orphans never can forget

when they had a home.