memoir Poem: fool’s school

(to steve, the space cowboy)

I loved you like I loved my dad

both of you are such sad villains.

Does handsomeness

cause commitment phobia?

For aeons long

you were a jerk

pervert, sadist

predator hunter.

Twenty years gone

and you’re still playing

the same recycled game of loss

singing the same dead end refrain.

Why won’t you ever change?

Self-hatred makes you fear

anyone near who loves you.

Predictable abuse with

always an excuse

encore performance.

Now that you’re lame and limp

it’s not easy to find

young beautiful

codependent contestants.

It’s a narcissist society

entitled to everything

including death to life on earth.

Sometimes when I’m floating

in near outer space

your trance follows me

through telepathic tunnels

like a ghost stalker lance

piercing through reality

as if we ever had a chance.

Mirages of you

based on promises

you withdrew

makes me a fool and you a liar.


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