What does it feel like to belong?
Part of the clan
Part of the colony.
What would it be like
If no one ever asked me
Where am I from?
The repetitive interrogation
of strangers stalking me
as if they were experts
detectives of Asian culture.
“Why do you want to know?”
I ask, they have no response to that.
Some say they can guess
whether I’m Chinese or Japanese
I say, neither of these
stereotypes work to corral us
all up in a bunch.
“Go back to China!”
is the racist mantra
repeatedly over and over.
They ask me
as if they’re doing me a favor
by acknowledging
that this can’t possibly be
my actual country
but it’s the only one I’ve got
an elusive stranger here
ever since I was three yrs old.
My parents chose to immigrate
to *Migook, the United States
the golden land of opportunity.
They taught me to imitate
which robbed me:
of my original identity
the relief of mainstream normalcy
the advantage and protection
of naturally fitting in,
blending into a part of the majority.
I lost my right of
pride in belonging.
Animals survive through
camouflage and schooling
safety in numbers.
Standing apart
is like having a bulls-eye target
marked across your heart.
Inclusion is a dream
like upward mobility
swimming upstream
or eaten alive
the illusion
of the American Dream.
Welcome home to your role
as resident outsider among insiders,
always in the outer skin within.
The foreigner
The expatriate
The saboteur
in permanent exile.
Come hold the protest up
Without any mention again.
Invisibility scorn.
I have no land to return to
None that would understand
My lost amnesia language
My multitasking personas
My shame in assimilation.
No one can rename me again
I’ve already been:
reformed reframed
renamed reclaimed
to an easy to pronounce
mark, a nickname
like a costume
Judy Judy Judy,
I wear it to make us
all feel comfortable
in the land of ruin.
Reborn as a double agent
with culture clash
double preloaded
into my hijacked mind
into my assimilated body.
Longing is the essential part
of not belonging.
“Where are you from?”
“Where do you belong?”
“On Earth, just like you, Duh!”
*Migook is the Korean word for USA
Seoul Sister 
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