being bullied

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I understand what Bret Weinstein is speaking out against. I experienced militant PC bullying behavior from a coworker at a previous job in SF. This person would always talk about political issues that were new to me and were admittedly over my head. Terms like Cis, heteronormative, were suddenly part of liberal culture; but I was an old school feminist and liberal that had to catch up with new PC culture. I tried to respectfully listen and learn, (this went on for about 6 months), but after awhile I started feeling attacked and judged.

For instance, this person was non-gender conforming, but presented as a lesbian female. They never let staff know how they wanted to be addressed, but they privately expressed frustration at being referred to as “she”. I only used their name instead of pronouns but I didn’t understand why we were expected to automatically know what they refused to state. We weren’t mind-readers, they could’ve asked us to refer to them as “them”, no problem, but there was this assumption that we were the ignorant cis gender majority. Some non-gender conforming people don’t mind being referred to as “it”, that seems offensive to me, so I always said “they” if I used a pronoun at all.

I’ve always championed minority causes including LGBTQ. I’ve always felt like an ally to marginalized groups, but not anymore. I feel shut out from the group that I’d always identified with. I’m a 1st generation Asian-American, I’ve seen my parents being discriminated against and I was called Ching Chong by bullies in elementary school, but there are also many other subtle ways of being treated like an outsider in North America; we’re under-represented in films, books and media (or worse we’re stereotyped or vilified). It’s partly why I post my Seoul Sister movie trailer parodies “Where are the Asians”, I don’t want to shame anyone, but I use sarcastic humor as my way of expressing the feeling of invisibility as an Asian-American.

One day this coworker suggested that I read a book about transgender feminist theory. I didn’t want to offend her so I accepted the book but didn’t read it. Why do people do this? They create a forced situation, but then are offended when they’re not obeyed. This coworker seemed obviously upset that I didn’t read the lengthy book. They interrogated me about my favorite writers. I named a few and the coworker said that I was a victim because I read books that were written by “old, white men”. They wanted nothing to do with classic literature because they thought it was oppressive. The conversation became uncomfortably judgmental so I asked them to not talk with me about political opinions anymore. We were there to work, not have constant dialogue about politics! They became very angry and kept saying political jargon and continued to label me as ignorant. A supervisor stepped in and we had separate meetings about what occurred.

The work environment was a very politically correct, liberal institution and I think the issue was too frightening for management to handle. I think they mishandled it in order to avoid being sued. In any other environment this person might not have been allowed to bully me, (privately my supervisors said they agreed with me). Luckily a different job promotion happened at the same time of this conflict so I was able to leave the situation. But it left me feeling completely bulldozed over. The techniques this person used were intense, their philosophy was, either you agree with me or you’re a bigot. There was no room for respectful debate, no room to disagree or have a different perspective without being negatively labeled.

This is what’s being fostered in colleges now. Free speech is in dire jeopardy because of unchecked political correctness. This is one of the many reasons that I’m no longer a liberal. I don’t consider myself a conservative either so it’s confirmation that I’m an outsider. Where is my tribe? Does free speech still exist?