While in high school and college, I demoted Jesus to being just an avatar, a wise enlightened soul. Even though I’d experienced miracles during childhood and even after I left Christianity, (I always believed in God but I perceived Him as the ever-tolerant, non-judgemental, New Age version). I was essentially worshipping a god of my own creation not the Creator as He truly is. We humans are so vain; we have just enough cleverness to manufacture cars and planes, invent smoothies and yoga pants but we get ahead of ourselves, crowning our ignorance with godhood. I think God sees us as toddlers, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.”
I constantly took unnecessary risks. I didn’t have a death wish, I was just incredibly naive and idiotically fearless. I used to constantly walk alone in sketchy neighborhoods past midnight to buy cigarettes. Whenever I felt threatened I prayed for safety and I could feel the presence of protection. In the modern age we’ve made miracles obsolete, trusting only in fallible science. I think it’s funny how we elevate scientists and doctors to a god-like status but they’re just following theories that are made up as they go, but we’re convinced of their absolute legitimacy; while we brush off God’s miracles that are present in everything, within every cell and in every precious raindrop.
Two of the most dramatic miracles that I experienced happened while I was still entrenched in New Age paganism. God never rejected me, even when I rejected God’s sacrifice in Jesus. God protected me no matter what dangers I was risking or how I rebelled. The door was always wide open for my return.
I was riding on BART, the subway system in the SF Bay Area. This happened about 30 yrs ago when BART was safer to ride but it was always a bit of a freak show. Once I even saw a white hippie couple with dreadlocks that were picking off fleas from each other’s hair and eating it like chimpanzees! The SF Bay Area is the Capital of clown world? Anyway, back to my miracle: I was returning home on the subway when I felt suddenly sick, extremely lightheaded/feverish, I started sweating. I was fighting hard to stay conscious.
I prayed to God asking for help to get home before I passed out. I don’t know what caused the sickness, I was completely sober and felt normal when I boarded the train. Maybe it was food poisoning but as I prayed I closed my eyes and saw at both sides of my head and shoulders, 2 brightly lit angels that were healing me. I couldn’t see details clearly, I don’t think they had wings (I think that’s mythology) but they were dressed in white or perhaps it was so bright that all I could notice was white light. My head was lit with their brightness and the feeling of sickness subsided. I had enough strength to get off the train and walk home safely for several blocks. If I had lost consciousness on the train I could’ve been hurt by pervs or whoever. I’ve heard of women getting raped on buses and trains full of people that just recorded the crime and did nothing to help. People might say that I was imagining or hallucinating the angels, maybe I was but I truly believe I was protected by God that day.
The second most dramatic miracle happened a decade later when I was in an argument with my bipolar boyfriend at the time. We constantly fought to the point of ultimatums, breaking up frequently and usually one of us would storm out during our debates over nothing. This time he threatened to go back to his ex-girlfriend who was always trying to win him away from me. It was a ridiculous scene, he was running and I was following. I chased him for blocks, he was zigzagging and cutting through parks in San Francisco. It was nighttime, visibility wasn’t the best and he just made it across a crosswalk. I saw the light turn red (for me as a pedestrian), saw the car already crossing, approaching from the corner of my eye. The car was perpendicular to me, it wasn’t speeding but it went straight on the green light as I was running through the crosswalk.
Time went into slow-motion, I could see the car through my peripheral vision as it hit me. I could feel the edge of the bumper slide across my lower legs. It’s hard to describe but the car and I collided in the middle of the street but neither of us stopped our momentum. We both went through at the same time. It was as if God made me immaterial, I was immune to the impact. I can’t explain exactly what or how it happened, it’s as if there was a parallel plane that opened just for that second of impact. When I reached the other side of the road I stopped and screamed from shock. My boyfriend paused from a block away to look at me and I shouted, “I got hit by a car! I give up! Go f*ck Ericka! You’re not worth this!” and I headed back home while he ran to his ex’s apartment. I know this story is incredible but I have no logical explanation other than that God protected me. I had no marks on my legs, no pain at all. The car never stopped, as if it never even saw me.
I’ve experienced more miracles and synchronicities that are so detailed that it’s like the thumbprint of God is all over the events but I’m not unique or special to experience miracles. God loves us all equally. I truly believe that when we humble the luciferean urge/the ego, the clarity of God’s goodness comes in an overwhelming rush of unconditional love. God loves us as we are, but we shine much brighter when we’re humble. When I pray with humility God always sends comfort, healing and mind-blowing synchronicities.
Maybe it happens so frequently in my life because I’m very open to it happening. For instance, I needed a Bible. I didn’t pray about it but God knew I needed it before I asked. In my neighborhood I found a tiny, Gideon’s New Testament Bible on the sidewalk right next to a gorgeous turquoise and silver mica stone. The gift was tailored to me: I love miniature things, mica, turquoise colors and stones :). Gideon bibles are especially unique because they’re not supposed to be sold. They’re intentionally left in public spaces as gifts, most often they’re found in hotels. Synchronicities like this have always been in my life but every time they happen I feel hugged by God. I believe that if you open your heart to Jesus, you’ll experience God directly, in an intimate and personalized way to you.
Humility isn’t low self-esteem. Humility is respect and acknowledgment. It’s the opposite of entitlement and self-importance. Narcissism (ego) demands attention and validation but humility says, “please use me as a tool to help”. Servitude comes from a wish to assist, it’s not slavery, it’s voluntary service. Public servants like the police and politicians are supposed to serve us, they’re even paid to do that but many seem to serve evil instead. True service is helping with no expectation of a reciprocal response. I never understood this before, I thought Christians were like self-flagellating slaves. I was completely wrong. It takes strength to serve. The ego/devil demands, “me first, that’s mine, do what I say, show me respect” which is the opposite of Jesus’ generosity of service. He served his disciples, even washing their feet. Jesus modeled how we should exist and as Christians we do our best to follow His perfect example.
Thank you for reading 🙏💖.